We’ve all been there. Whether you’re attending a new school, starting a new job, or even adjusting to a major shift in your personal life- the beginning period typically sucks. Will the new people like me? Did I just make a huge mistake? What have I done? I’m pretty sure we’ve all asked ourselves these questions at one point or another. Even some of my fondest memories evolved from an initial rocky adjustment period. I look back at my time at San Diego Mesa College with rose-colored lenses, but I remember my first month there was rough! I was taking the bus, I wasn’t sure about two of my classes, and I barely knew anyone. A couple months later it felt just like home! It’s easy to lose sight of these things, but eventually we all adjust to what we consider a new norm. If you never quite adjust, it’s time to take it as a sign to move on from that situation completely! Well if you want my advice, here it is: Remember, This Feeling is Temporary
This feeling of being an absolute failure and outcast is only temporary! Will you get these feelings again? Chances are you will at some point in your life, but the point is that they do fade. It’s honestly kind of weird if you walk into a new job, school, or living situation feeling like a total rockstar. We all have doubts and that’s honestly okay! All being doubtful shows us is that we’re aware of what’s at stake. Even though you shouldn’t become a hot mess over your doubts, it’s good to put thought into what you do. Just realize that in the beginning it’s all mental, and any negative energy you have will pass.
You Can’t Change the Past
This is honestly one of the hardest metaphorical pills for me to swallow. I’m not the type of person who dwells on how to move forward, but I do dwell on how something could have happened or played out in the first place. Even though this is one of the most unhealthy things that someone can do, it’s easy to fall into this rabbit hole of grief, resentment, and guilt. Even though I cringe by saying this, YOU ARE NOT MAGIC. YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST. You literally just can’t. Try not to wallow in leaving your last job or what you could have said/done differently and hold yourself with pride. The more gracefully you move on, the more you trick yourself and those around you that everything will be fine.
Stabilize the Other Things
Have you ever tried stability? It’s great! I often wish I had more stability in my life, but this isn’t about me right now. I’ve found that when one aspect of my life is having a breakdown such as Britney Spears’ in 2007, I need to even it out with making sure the other parts of my life are stable. If your life is pure and utter chaos from every single aspect, you will lose your mind. I’ve been close, and trust me, it’s no bueno. Now is the time to focus on your health or read a good book. Do something that will put yourself at ease for at least a fraction of the day. I know it’s not always this easy, but try to put your mental health as a top priority.
Try Small Doses of Comfortability
We tend to start enjoying situations as we become more comfortable in them. It’s hard to be completely comfortable when being thrown into a whole new atmosphere, but try to incorporate small things from your own “planet”. What do I mean by this? Well maybe it’s packing your favorite lunch for work, listening to your best playlist before school, or hanging out with friends during a harsh breakup. The more you incorporate the positives from the past with your current situation, the more you’ll feel at home. This most likely will lead to a sudden burst of motivation to see everything through. Having a strong support system such as family and friends doesn’t hurt as well!
Many people I know are going through a new stage of their life and I know it’s hard! I was there not all that long ago, and sometimes it still crosses my mind. I hope these tips help, and please feel free to reach out if you need more advice! See you next week ❤
Infographic of the Week:
Question of the Week:
What’s the hardest adjustment you’ve ever had to make?