It tends to happen when you least expect it. You’re trying to go to sleep, you’re taking a shower, or you’re hanging out with an old group of friends, and BAM! Somehow, a repressed memory from the past comes creeping up back into your fragile mind. I say this, because it’s been happening lately to me more than I’d like to admit. I’ve personally grown a lot in the last six years (basically since I graduated high school in 2011), but some moments make you forget all of the progress you’ve made. Whether it’s a “funny” story or a character flaw you had, the memories can be cringe-worthy. Instead of asking yourself, “Why did I do that?” or, “Why didn’t I say this instead?”, try your best to move forward with these helpful tricks.

 

Continue to Better Yourself

My guess is that you’ve improved your life considerably since the time(s) that are creeping back up into your memory. You’ve probably advanced in your career, made smarter choices when it comes to your relationships, and are overall a better human being. I think we tend to forget that we’re meant to make mistakes and then learn from them. Beating yourself up over something incredibly stupid you did in the past keeps you from improving yourself and is harmful to making progress to bettering your future. So, my advice is to continue making progress with your career, relationships, family, health and any other aspect of your life. Not only is it the best revenge for the people trying to hold you back, but it also helps you get closer to reaching your goals.

 

Limit the Time You Spend with Certain People

Certain people you can’t help but associate with a certain part of your life. It could be an ex or it could be people you knew in high school. Either way, you can’t help but feel like a failure around them sometimes. I’m not an expert in the psychology behind this phenomenon, but you could have won the Nobel Peace Prize and still feel like you need to prove yourself to these people. I’m not saying to cut them out of your life (unless it’s necessary), but maybe limit the time you spend around them or avoid certain situations (like going to the bar). I’ve recently experienced this situation more than usual, due to it being the middle of summer right now. After the initial, “How are you?” and “Where do you work now?”, you start to talk about the one time period or place you all have in common. That’s when the embarrassing stories start to take play and you either laugh to keep from crying, or get defensive. Either way, it’s not pleasant.

 

Distract Yourself

I know this tip comes up in several of my blog posts, but sometimes distracting yourself is one of the only ways to prevent yourself from going insane. This might make me sound like a nut case, but sometimes the only way I can stop myself from traveling down the path of bad memories is to hum or literally shout the word, “stop!” If you’re looking for some more sane alternatives, there are better distractions out there. You could go to the gym or clean your house to get yourself out of that mental mind-warp. I tend to beat myself up over some little stupid thing I did years ago in the past, and it starts to trigger accompanying bad memories. I’ve personally found that distracting myself was the only helpful short-term solution.

 

 

Look, everyone has said/done some pretty idiotic things in their lifetime. Yes, that even includes the people who seem to be perfect. Even though this is much easier said than done, stop dwelling on it! We’re all human and we’re all here to learn from each other. What’s important now is to learn from the past and apply it to a better future. Unfortunately, you will continue to make mistakes, but hopefully they’re not the same ones.

 

Infographic of the Week:

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https://infograph.venngage.com/p/286241/3-things-to-help-you-get-over-the-past

 

Question of the Week:

What’s something you’ve had to learn the hard way?

 

 

2 thoughts on “It’s Time to Stop Dwelling on the Past

  1. Everything I have learned, I learned the hard way. All of the things you have talked about in this weeks blog are exactly why I do not attend High School reunions or events. I am not that same girl from HS and I don’t want to feel like I am having to defend a 14, 15, 16, or 17 year old girl that I once was! Plus, the minute I see one of those people from high school, I turn into that dorky 15 year old all over again and it is not a pleasant feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

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