Helplessness- we all know that feeling way too well. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, popular, lonely and/or anywhere in between, we’ve all felt at our wit’s end at one point or another. The biggest struggle with coping is those moments, whether they’re sparse or frequent, is when we are alone. It could be that you’re on your lunch break and everyone else is working, or it could be that you’re not getting along with someone and you’re secretly hoping that they’ll text you back. Even though I like to pride myself in becoming a mature adult over the past few years, I still have my desperation filled moments. This is why I’ve tried my hardest to become my own rock of stability. The second you rely too much on another person other than yourself, is the second that you have the ability of spiraling out of control. The truth is, we’re all human beings! Most people cannot be there for you emotionally 24/7. The one time the person you trust doesn’t get back to you for several hours, might be the time that you freak out. So how on earth are you supposed to become so self-reliant? Well, here are my suggestions.
Rely on Your Strengths
Like I said earlier, at the end of the day we’re all human. We all have our own unique weaknesses, but we also have our own unique strengths. When you feel like your life is spiraling out of control, call on those strengths to pick you back up again. For example, I tend to freak myself out by thinking of every potential outcome of a situation. This can sometimes deter me from seeking out new opportunities or even facing my fears. One of my strengths is that I’m a hard worker, even when I’m at my lowest points. Sometimes I need to mentally force myself to keep working to distract myself from what can go wrong. Even though these two things sound like they contradict each other, sometimes actions do speak louder than words.
Trust Your Instincts
You might want to believe in someone with every fiber of your being, but something in your gut is telling you that a certain person or situation is bad news. I can tell you firsthand and secondhand that your intuition is usually right in those situations. It’s easier to get over things in your life if you learn how to prevent them from the get-go. If you blindly go into something you’re unsure about, especially if it involves finances or liabilities, make sure you have your own back covered and you have some kind of agreement established from the very beginning. The last thing you want to do is lose money or credibility due to an unreliable partner. This goes for friends and other relationships as well, but especially when business matters are involved.
Reflect on How You’ve Overcome Hard Times of the Past
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had many periods of my life that I look back on and wonder, “How the hell did I get through that?” Now I want you reflect on those miserable times and remember the coping mechanisms you used. Now if they were completely detrimental to your well-being and health, DO NOT REPEAT THEM. I mean going to the gym and seeking group counseling is a lot better than binge drinking by yourself every night. If you think of the constructive distractions and repeat them accordingly, you’ll find a stable routine that will help you get out of the dumps and on with your life. Check out this old blog post if you’d like to see what helps me get through hard times.
Appreciate the Good Things Going on in Your Life
Not to get all preachy, but usually there’s at least one aspect of your life that will be going well and/or fantastic. On the other hand, life can be quite the balancing act, which means that another aspect of your life might have gone to you know what. In the past, my classes might have been going great, but my work life wasn’t or vice versa. Sometimes forcing myself to get through one part of the day was a lot easier when the other part of my day was a breeze. When you focus on the good the bad just doesn’t seem as bad.
Even though I believe in the whole “it takes a village” mentality for success to happen, I still believe each individual has to be ambitious and self-dependent to a certain degree. The truth is that you can’t rely on anyone 100% of the time for reasons beyond human control. The more you can be self-reliant the further it will get you in life, despite the obstacles that may appear.
Infographic of the Week:
Question of the Week:
What’s a time where being independent helped you?