I’m kind of excited to cover this week’s topic, because it’s a bit of a challenge for me to write about! One of my dedicated readers asked me if I could write a blog post on the subject of what to do when you like someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. For privacy reasons, I can’t reveal who it is, but I appreciate the topic suggestion! If anyone else ever has a suggestion on a topic they want me to cover in future posts, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Even though it’s been a while since I was in this position, I remember the emotional toll it can take like it was yesterday. When you have a crush, it’s hard to focus on anything else. You plan every outfit you’re going to wear that week, you imagine up future conversations, and you over-analyze every interaction you’ve had with said person. Desperation and clinginess become synonymous with who you are, even if that’s not who you are at all! If you’ve been in this situation for more than a few months and this person doesn’t seem nearly as obsessive as you do, you’ve probably been friend-zoned. I know hearing that isn’t what you’d like to hear, but it’s the cold hard truth that every person has had to hear at least once in their life.
Believe it or not, it’s better to have this realization early on than to live in denial and heartbreak for an extended period of time. I remember being a teenager thinking my life was over and that I’d never find anyone to really like me for who I was. I also remember hearing that “There’s many fish in the sea” and “One day I’ll find that special someone”. Of course I was skeptical and pessimistic based on past experiences, but both of these common sayings had many ounces of truth behind them. My current relationship also is the most successful one I’ve ever had. Even better? It didn’t start out as a crush that worked out, it started out as a quirky friendship with someone I didn’t think I had anything in common with!
This relationship in particular was great, because it didn’t happen overnight. My boyfriend was in my government class in high school and hung out with the popular kids. I wasn’t exactly popular in high school, but we always made small talk in class. Initially one of my close friends and him seemed kind of interested in each other, but nothing ever came out of it. After things fizzled out, we started talking more and realized that we had a lot more in common than we initially thought we had. Since our relationship happened unexpectedly, there wasn’t any chasing or faking who we were in order to date each other. I was finally able to completely be myself and not have to strategically plan my next actions.
It wasn’t until this happened that I was glad that things never happened with my crushes who didn’t like me back. If we had forced a relationship, the other person would never have been happy and I would have been having to try harder the whole time. That’s not a healthy relationship at all! I guess long story short is: you’re valuable and there’s someone better out there for you! Getting over a bad crush is easier said than done, but please do your best to move on! It might sound childish, but try to avoid situations they might be in, hide their posts from your Facebook news feed, and mingle with other people! Sometimes you find that special someone when you least expect it.
Infographic of the Week:
Question of the Week:
What helps you move on from a bad crush or relationship?